My Top Ten Lessons Learned
1. Our Economic Reality: I was pretty surprised after watching the demographic winter movie. Our population as a whole is declining. The baby boomers are becoming old and retiring with the working class getting smaller and smaller. This is causing a difficult situation with social security. We are becoming less and less equipped to handle the growing retired population. After watching this movie, it really made me want to have more kids to help the future generations.
2. Family Systems: I liked learning about the family systems. There are quirks each family has. We can all think of different unwritten rules that we have within our families. Each individual in the family adds something different to the dynamic. In the system, there are also different boundaries between each member of the family. I learned what kind of family dynamic I want to have in my own future home.
3. Family Culture: Each family has their own culture. This was the week we watched Tammy’s story and it was definitely an eye opener for me. It is amazing to see how a person grows up plays such a significant role on how the person is when they have their own families. It is hard for children to grow out of their own family culture as they become adults. It is possible but it is very difficult and it doesn’t happen as often as we might think.
4. Born Gay: From this lesson I learned that people are not born gay. Society, friends, and family can play a big role on how children view themselves. We shouldn’t be calling children gay at such young ages. I also learned the difference between having same sex attraction, being homosexual and being gay. SSA doesn’t have to be romantic. Homosexual is when they are sexualizing something. Being gay is their identity.
5. Dating: When we are dating someone we should be looking for their qualities of being a provider, protector, and presiding in the home. I also really enjoyed the RAM model. We shouldn’t touch someone more than we are committed to them, rely on them, trust them, or know them. This is why so many people go through so many issues when they are dating. They are touching the person more than they know them. We need to be smarter when it comes to dating.
6. Marriage: Being married takes more than just compromising. It is all about both parties working together for a common goal. It is about cooperation and trying to do what is best for the other person. Each partner should be giving 100% in their marriage. When one is having a hard day, the other should be attempting to make up for their shortfalls. Marriage is all about being a team. I’ve learned to get over the small things in my marriage and try to talk through the big things more.
7. Boundaries in Marriage: There should be important boundaries around the couple. Even around the family members that support the married couple. Affairs are unfortunately very common and lead to so many divorces. I think having set boundaries around the couple can help protect the marriage. I like the wise walls found in the text book. It gives a list of rules couples should have so they don’t get into bad situations that could potentially lead to a divorce.
8. Stress: Stress is so important in our lives. I don’t think I realized this but it helps us develop and grow into better people if we let it. We need to learn how to deal with stressors the right way that can help us become better. I like the list of things families do that show they are better at dealing with stressors like celebrating birthdays and having good financial management. This has helped me see what I want to do with my future family.
9. Conflict: Conflict is when there is a clash of opposing wishes or needs. It can be hard to communicate effectively when there is conflict between people. In D&C 121:43 it talks about reproving betimes with sharpness which means we should come down upon in the right time and be concise about it. We should be careful with this phrase. We need to have the Holy Ghost with us to tell us when and how we should talk with someone.
10. Finances: I learned about how to handle debt. In the book by Ashton he talks about the importance of clearing out our debts. His chart was very helpful in showing how to put our money toward different pieces of debt we owe. We should do our best to pay off all our debts as quickly as possible. This way we can start saving our money and using the money we have to our advantage.
2. Family Systems: I liked learning about the family systems. There are quirks each family has. We can all think of different unwritten rules that we have within our families. Each individual in the family adds something different to the dynamic. In the system, there are also different boundaries between each member of the family. I learned what kind of family dynamic I want to have in my own future home.
3. Family Culture: Each family has their own culture. This was the week we watched Tammy’s story and it was definitely an eye opener for me. It is amazing to see how a person grows up plays such a significant role on how the person is when they have their own families. It is hard for children to grow out of their own family culture as they become adults. It is possible but it is very difficult and it doesn’t happen as often as we might think.
4. Born Gay: From this lesson I learned that people are not born gay. Society, friends, and family can play a big role on how children view themselves. We shouldn’t be calling children gay at such young ages. I also learned the difference between having same sex attraction, being homosexual and being gay. SSA doesn’t have to be romantic. Homosexual is when they are sexualizing something. Being gay is their identity.
5. Dating: When we are dating someone we should be looking for their qualities of being a provider, protector, and presiding in the home. I also really enjoyed the RAM model. We shouldn’t touch someone more than we are committed to them, rely on them, trust them, or know them. This is why so many people go through so many issues when they are dating. They are touching the person more than they know them. We need to be smarter when it comes to dating.
6. Marriage: Being married takes more than just compromising. It is all about both parties working together for a common goal. It is about cooperation and trying to do what is best for the other person. Each partner should be giving 100% in their marriage. When one is having a hard day, the other should be attempting to make up for their shortfalls. Marriage is all about being a team. I’ve learned to get over the small things in my marriage and try to talk through the big things more.
7. Boundaries in Marriage: There should be important boundaries around the couple. Even around the family members that support the married couple. Affairs are unfortunately very common and lead to so many divorces. I think having set boundaries around the couple can help protect the marriage. I like the wise walls found in the text book. It gives a list of rules couples should have so they don’t get into bad situations that could potentially lead to a divorce.
8. Stress: Stress is so important in our lives. I don’t think I realized this but it helps us develop and grow into better people if we let it. We need to learn how to deal with stressors the right way that can help us become better. I like the list of things families do that show they are better at dealing with stressors like celebrating birthdays and having good financial management. This has helped me see what I want to do with my future family.
9. Conflict: Conflict is when there is a clash of opposing wishes or needs. It can be hard to communicate effectively when there is conflict between people. In D&C 121:43 it talks about reproving betimes with sharpness which means we should come down upon in the right time and be concise about it. We should be careful with this phrase. We need to have the Holy Ghost with us to tell us when and how we should talk with someone.
10. Finances: I learned about how to handle debt. In the book by Ashton he talks about the importance of clearing out our debts. His chart was very helpful in showing how to put our money toward different pieces of debt we owe. We should do our best to pay off all our debts as quickly as possible. This way we can start saving our money and using the money we have to our advantage.
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