Unspoken Rules

     I want you to think of some unspoken rules you have within your family. Behaviors within your household that you don't speak of, but are common knowledge among the family. Can you think of any? In my own family growing up, my brothers and I always had to ask if we could be excused from the dinner table before we could go off and play. We were also not allowed to bring any friends into my Mom and Dad's room. I can distinctly remember one time I was at my best friends house and she went in to her Mom and Dad's room and was waiting for me to follow her but I just stood outside the room like there was some invisible force field in the doorway. Whether we think about these rules or not, they affect the way we act and think. As we move out and live with roommates or get married and live with a spouse, these unspoken rules may come up as controversies between people. Maybe someone doesn't do the dishes the way you grew up doing them, or maybe your spouse opens up your mail when you were taught it is sacred like your social security card.

     This week I learned about the family systems theory. Basically, it is how each family functions as a unit. Although there are individuals in a family, each person adds something to the family dynamic. Each person has different relationships with each member of the family that cause the family to be a certain way. Within each system there are boundaries between each family member. There are relationships within the family with harsh boundaries, little to no boundaries, and anywhere in between. It's interesting to observe other families and see how that affects the dynamic within the family.
   
     If anything, I hope I made you think more about your own family system at home. It's kind of fun to talk about the unspoken rules with your family. It also gives you an opportunity to think of the dynamic you want in your own family. I hope every has a great weekend and in the words of Bob Ross, "Happy painting and God bless."