Affair is in the Air
Boundaries are important in every relationship we have. They are what keep relationships so close. Specifically in marriage, there should be definite boundaries around the couple. Friends and family shouldn't be included in every aspect of a married couple. I have heard of too many stories where one of the spouses spends time with someone of the opposite sex as friends and they end up leaving their spouse to be with that same individual. We need to be careful as a married couple to avoid these pitfalls and be loyal to our spouse. What may seem very innocent and "strictly business" may turn into something you never thought could be possible. In an article I read, the author provided some "wise walls" that we can use to help keep our marriage strong.
Wise Walls
• Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.
• Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. This develops deep levels of intimacy.
• If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
• Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the marriage.
• Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
• When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a bed.
• If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
• If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.
• Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.
• Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.
I think many can be under the impression that something like this will never happen to them because they love their spouse and they know they would never cheat on them and vice versa. We should be very careful with this thought because it can happen to anyone. I think this is why it is so important to lay out boundaries early on in marriage. It provides a safe boundary around the couple so they don't have to expose themselves to possible marital problems or even an affair. Now just because you lay out these boundaries, doesn't mean that you don't trust each other. I think by doing this, you show how seriously you take your marriage and the vows you made to each other when you got married. If you hold your marriage sacred and with the utmost respect, wouldn't you want to take all the precautions you could?
Wise Walls
• Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.
• Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. This develops deep levels of intimacy.
• If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
• Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the marriage.
• Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
• When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a bed.
• If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
• If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.
• Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.
• Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.
I think many can be under the impression that something like this will never happen to them because they love their spouse and they know they would never cheat on them and vice versa. We should be very careful with this thought because it can happen to anyone. I think this is why it is so important to lay out boundaries early on in marriage. It provides a safe boundary around the couple so they don't have to expose themselves to possible marital problems or even an affair. Now just because you lay out these boundaries, doesn't mean that you don't trust each other. I think by doing this, you show how seriously you take your marriage and the vows you made to each other when you got married. If you hold your marriage sacred and with the utmost respect, wouldn't you want to take all the precautions you could?
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